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1.
ruins 03:55
What a whole lot of shit we've been up to this last year, how could i ever be the same again? How could I ever? There's a new myself staring at me through that mirror. How could I ever be the same again? How could I ever? While all the walls are fading just our grief is staying up, found in our ruins decaying, the few hopes we had left. In every stare we're sharing, in each step, in any hug there's a chance we're still faking; don't wanna know what's in this harm. How could I understand your distress in this awful time? And I know it's not the right choice, but I don't even know who I am. I've gone too far to heal these wounds, too bad I can't let go.
2.
Getting out of myself have become so hard I could just give right now. It's not just plain death. but also a fake innovation. These arms know all kinds of pain, and now are mute, quiet and tired. There is hope in your eyes. I can feel the power waving. I tried with all I've got, used to feel so safe here with you. I stopped fading for a while, but then I flipped my side. We could just dash away, and never ever come back, it would be so easy for us. I think I've felt this before, but not with such intensity..
3.
I've been trying to tell you but the days kept coming in; I've been dying to let you be a part of me again. Spent weeks forcing myself to spit all the lies, all the nonsense, just to find myself aching on the same spots. No future building up, only the same dead end roads, a nightmare repeating itself and i always die at the end. But in all those fatal flaws we tried to find hope for ourselves and for the ones that always got our backs. Spent weeks forcing myself just to find out how weak I am It's me, staring at my thoughts, and I'm nothing to think about, i've nothing to feel. I would do anything for you, but I'm nothing to think about, nothing to feel about. But I'll try to find a safe place for us Two years trying to gather the strength to speak up and now look what's left of me: just a collection of fears, a few bad thoughts and even worse intentions. This is my last chance to admit how I failed, how I missed. I would do anything in my power for you, but I'm nothing to think about, I've nothing to feel. I would set myself on fire for you, but I'm nothing to think about, nothing to feel about.
4.
deceit 04:28
how do i shake this feeling of never being good enough? to be here, to lay my eyes on you: there's nothing harder to achieve. an act to redeem myself a chance to stand up again an act to scape deceit a chance to bury our shame tip-toeing around all the moments when we should have spoken, but instead we chose to look away. are we ready to surrender or did we give up years ago? from now on nothing will be the way we have planned. i love you with all i've got, when did we give up? im' tired of looking back at all my mistakes i love you with all i've got, when did we give up?

credits

released October 12, 2022

Grabado en CESUR.
Mezclado y masterizado por Pablo Triunfador (triunfador.bandcamp.com)
Portada de Laura (@xapadeninha)

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Recorded at CESUR.
Mixed and mastered by Pablo Triunfador (triunfador.bandcamp.com).
Cover art by Laura (@xapadeninha)

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the only traces left of sunken ships Málaga, Spain

emo.

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